Affirmations of Friendship Ingrained in Faith

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares." 

- Henri Nouwen

I believe for every one of us is someone whose loyalty through the trials of life is defined by their understanding; allowing us to grow, make mistakes and be granted forgiveness. I also believe it goes both ways concerning everlastingly friendships. 

Over 35 years ago, in a small prairie town, I met a young girl named Leeann Kendall. What I did not known long ago was how our paths would intersect, flourish, endure growing pains, survive relationships and ultimately bond us stronger through the losses in our own lives.

While our friendship was tested over time, so was our faith. Years ago, Leeann was stricken with cancer. As she endured sickness, I felt helpless…hundreds of miles away. The joys of loving her were being replaced with ultimately losing her. One night, I could not stand the unknown, and drove thru the night. I had not checked the weather and found myself, white knuckled around my steering wheel as I hit a bad storm, near Monte Creek, BC. I found myself praying that I would actually make the trip and only found some reprieve many hours later, when exhausted; I parked in Jasper, Alberta for some rest. The thing is I may have had the best intentions, but not telling my best friend I was coming, was not a good idea. Standing on her porch, where she lived, Leeann was dumbfounded. She had a ‘I am not amused’ look on her face and at the time I felt hurt that I had come all this way and she wasn’t feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Looking back, I can only imagine how I would have felt, battling such a horrific disease and maybe not up to seeing anyone, when out of the blue my best friend was on my doorstep saying ‘Hey Girlfriend!’ While staying with Leeann, I was made to feel welcome. Meanwhile her poor husband Tony, along with young twin boys, had to put up with our non-stop chatter. When I left several days later, I promised next time I would call. 

This year marked a big day of celebration for Leeann, as she made the announcement of being Cancer free for five years! I was ecstatic at her news and it made me reflect on the dedication I had given her in my upcoming novel, Under the Sitka Tree. In wanting to honour my friend, I created a character in my book that reflected the qualities that I admire about my best friend. I had been holding back on sharing the tribute, until one day I blurted out, “You’re a character in my book…in fact; you’re a cheeky, mischievous and tough little black girl named Gwennie-Sue.” I added, “She has a kind heart, but she’s also a fighter.” I know this time around that Leeann was smiling, probably over the notion that I had taken a Caucasian farm girl from Alberta and given her African roots in my book. 

Leeann Kendall Frayn at Medicine Lake, Alberta

 Throughout our ups and downs, we have had many blessings. Between us we had given birth; me to a beautiful daughter and for her, twin boys, named Devon and Dawson. If ever there was a mother who sacrificed dearly for her children, it is Leeann. She has devoted her entire life to being a hand’s on mom; one who is 110% involved in what they do and teaching them the proper way to respect and honour a young lady. Every time I chat with her, she beams with the greatest pride, over their latest achievements. Their grades are beyond stellar and a lot of that has to do with the commitment on Leeann’s part, ensuring they were given her time and love as a parent. I am immensely proud of Devon and Dawson for being part of their community, church and involving themselves in things that are inspiring. Their goals will be attained and I know the credit is largely due to their mother and my best friend.

For every good thing that we have shared, Leeann and I have also been bound by tragic losses. At an early age, we both lost our fathers, in terrible passings. Their void in our lives would be added to Leeann’s sister, Debbie passing away and my daughter, Shayla losing her life. Although my best friend experienced her grief at a much earlier age than me, we were connected in our heartache, throughout the years. The foundation of our friendship has seen much upheaval and yet we warm-heartedly call each other “Soul- Sisters.”

I recall, after Shayla’s death, receiving a parcel in the mail from my girlfriend. Inside were many gifts that I cherish, yet it was something I collect which brought the tears flowing. It is from the Willow Tree Collection and is affectionately called “Sisters by Heart.” What I love about this figurine is how each of the hands tenderly fit into the other in a trusting, kind gesture of compassion. 

Last year, in July, Leeann and her two boys-Devon and Dawson- took part in The Heart Pebble Movement, by releasing one in the waters of Medicine Lake, Alberta. This loving tribute to Shayla was made even more special when my best friend described what it meant for her and her family to honour my daughter.

As we released the pebble into Gods waters we said a prayer of praise that Our Shayla was at peace with our Lord and Savior <3 My emotions began to surface as we walked onto the dock ...my heart was pounding at the same rate as my tears of sorrow ); I sat on the dock holding the Pebble and we prayed and thanked the Lord for Shay and asked for guidance and comfort for her Mama Tonya <3

 As I released the Pebble I felt a sense of peace and excitement as we were not only saying our final goodbye (for now) we were keeping her memory and earthly purpose Alive along with her Family :)

 Leeann’s words resonate to my broken heart, my weary soul is uplifted by the grace I have been blessed with in the many years we have been friends. As I am currently writing and editing my book, she has no idea what her character Gwennie-Sue is like or what happens to her? Although my book is fiction, the truth of what I aspire to convey to my readers, can be found amongst the pages. As well as in those, whose spirit is a mirror reflection of what they portray in real life.

To sum what my Soul- Sister and I share is the following quote:

“A friend is someone who reached for your hand and touched your heart.” ~ Unknown 

By T.L. Alton