The Duality of the Elements

The very first pebble to be placed as a tribute to my daughter, Shayla was at Norvan Falls. Norvan Falls is Located in Lynn Valley, North Vancouver,  Norvan Falls is a picturesque hike amidst lush forests of western cedars  intermingled with douglas fir trees.

A year earlier, Shayla and my partner hiked a 13-kilometre round-trek in the woods. The exertion needed to reach Norvan Falls, is well worth it! In every picture taken that day, my daughter’s smile lit up against the cascading snowflakes, which surrounded her.

Looking back, and on my journey to place pebbles, I have realized how I am graced with so many memories and locations. This allows me to leave behind a part of her extraordinary legacy and continue to honour The Heart Pebble Movement.

The first time Shayla’s pebbles travelled abroad was to England in February of this year. Packing for the trip to meet my partner’s family, I cautiously chose from her special collection of stones, gems, crystals and of course, pebbles. Over the next nine days, I would travel all over London, Hertfordshire, Cambridge and the English countryside. Standing in front of the waters of the river Tyburn that runs through St. James Park, I placed my first pebble onto a skim of thin ice. It was a feeling of release that encouraged me to do more throughout the area. As I entered Hyde Park, and walked around The Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain, I felt overcome with emotions. It was designed to express Diana's spirit and love of children. Both my daughter and I were fond of the people’s Princess and her devotion to a variety of charities. As I sat on the carved Cornish granite, I was mesmerized by the constant flow of water swirling by over different designs in the stone. The measuring distance of the stream is 10 to 20 ft allowing ample flow to occur. The simplicity of the design offers a gently sloping so that water propelled to the pinnacle of the oval surges downwards on both sides. One section of the stream bed moves down effortlessly with moderate ripples. The other part is a diversity of stone ladders, arcs, and other chiselled forms so that the water acts like a playful child, splashing away.  The water merges together as it pours into a restful pool at the base of the foundation. The two parts were intentional to illustrate the duality of Diana's existence: her joyful era, and tumultuous times. As my fingers ran slowly over the stone, I felt a connection to another care-free spirit, who encompassed a golden heart. Out of respect for the memorial, I knew this was simply a place of reflection and not one to place a pebble. However, I felt a strong urge to take Shayla’s Rose Quartz Heart and put it at certain sections of the fountain.  In doing so, I was reminded how our lives may be consumed with the unconceivable and yet also filled with great expectations.  These were the first of many places I would journey too, while in Europe. Once I opened myself up to the infinite possibilities, I lessened my anticipation on finding the ‘ideal locations’ to drop a pebble. As a result, a world full of opportunity came my way in the most beautiful means available.

“ Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you. “ ~ Princess Diana

A Step Back in Time~ Through My Daughter's Eyes

Most of us can recall watching our child at the beach. Their bare feet immersed in the playful waves, scan with their eyes, a glorious seashell. My daughter was one of those 'sea babies', who would rather be engulfed by waves, than be still in a sandbox. The expression on her face was of sheer delight when she thought she had discovered a 'diamond' in the ruff. With her tiny fingers, Shayla would unearth a stone that was smooth, white and glittered from the suns rays. The revelation was innocent…that of a child that held in her hand, a mystery. She would baptize the rock in the salty waters, repeatedly, just to capture the shimmering glints. To her, the rock was perfect, a beautiful release that she had found some peace in a tiny stone. This is how my daughter viewed me... imperfections and all. Shayla would extend her arms to all the parts of my brokenness and accept me for the shards of who I once was. It made no difference to her that I was a parent with a serious chronic illness. In her, I found a reflection of the child I wish I had been. The invisible stars that I clung to under the veils of night were shattered by years of mistreatment. None of this mattered to Shayla who did not see limitations in me. My daughter saw a stone that needed polishing. One in which, with a splash of water could be given new life. I envied her perceptions.

Now, I cling to the hope that I too can remain focussed on dreams that my daughter believed were reachable. Through my daughter's eyes, I was waiting to be discovered.

Now, in her memory, I am sharing a movement that is creating ripples while embracing who I am…a bereaved parent.

The light that once shone on me as a struggling parent is still there...but now it illuminates from above. http://youtu.be/Km98jsSi9gM

The Exposed Roots Untouched by Frost

It never ceases to bring a sense of wonder when I am sent a photograph of a pebble.  I find myself imagining the travels of this stone; once it falls upon the source of water…I envision its journey. For me, this symbolic gesture of mixing the two elements makes me feel whole. The trauma of losing my daughter, the sole person who knew me and every corner of my mind has been like lying on a feather cloud; little by little I am slipping through. Try as I might to clutch at something- anything, my fingers lose grasp. Yet with The Heart Pebble Movement, it is a tangible thing that I can hold on to. It allows me to feel the smoothness of the pebble or the jagged slivers on a stone. Closing my eyes, the sound of the splash into the water revolves around and I inhale the simplicity it brings; awakening my fractured soul.

A pebble, once imprisoned is freed at last by the flash of a camera that leaves behind in its circle of life ripples, a story to be shared. For once the drop is in motion; set into whatever liquid was chosen for its release, then and only then can the pebble begin to live its adventures.

I marvel as this paradox as I am held in the clutches of one single, tragic day and strive to find grace amongst the sorrow. My grief at times has been dismissed; the inflammation of loss cannot be described when a child dies. I know…because I have desperately tried.

Some find comfort in my movement, because it allows the person who is participating, to also release any hurt. As if the mere collision of both water and pebble is a projection of all they want to liberate themselves from.

The snapshots I post are from those who feel a connection to my daughter; they wanted to awaken in them something that expresses the golden heart that Shayla encompassed. Her eyes were the doorways into the sheer joy distributed to those who came in contact with her. My daughter’s laugh came from her belly; a roaring noise, mixed with a chime full of giggles, announced her presence in any room. In the short time on this earth, she loved to leave more than footprints. By sharing her harmony and telling stories that made a difference, it gave this young 21 year old a purpose.

One of the other passions in Shayla’s life was volunteering. She did not see it as doing a good deed, rather a way to penetrate the darkness with kindness. The essence of her inner beauty saw her connect to the young and old, those needful, in pain and frail souls. The people in society who had been lost in the cracks and were being pulled down by the weeds. Although Shayla wanted to dance as a profession and had taken years of lessons, her destiny would remain with those who felt the most rejected. As her mother, the influence I had on my daughter’s life would see her to a path that now I wish had been sidetracked.  However, just as a rock is a solid mass, so were Shayla’s dreams rock-hard and nothing could change the outcome.

Meanwhile, the one unyielding thing that remains for me is her collection of pebbles, stones, gems and crystals. She has a heart shaped box, sprayed gold and containing some of her cherished pieces.  I plan on sharing other unique places where my daughter’s pebbles are or have been found. It is my hope that others will see the glimmers of light in a cause close to my own heart.

The girls in the photographs that I have names for are Lexi and Jesse. Whenever possible, I will give credit and acknowledgement to those who submit a picture and a brief story of where a pebble was placed. 

 “The least Movement is of importance to all nature. The entire ocean is affected by a pebble.”   ~ Blaise Pascal

When a Pebble Became a Mountain

Every movement that strives to reach a sense of action begins with an idea. The notion of taking a concept, whether full of grandeur or simplicity, and propelling it forward requires the involvement of people. Individuals, who see the power of something brilliant and want to be a part of it.

What started out as a mark of respect for my daughter, became weaved into a tapestry of colourful tales, I shared with others. Shayla’s rock hounding adventures were told and re-told. At grocery store line-ups, while at the bank and at our local mall; I breathed life into the cause.  Even on the airplanes that took me to destinations of mending the fracture in my heart- I felt compelled to speak of her pebbles. 

As it was in the bitter cold of winter when I began The Heart Pebble Movement, there were those who were eager for spring thaw. Both family and friends wanted to pay tribute to Shayla.  It was a way of release for many; while others saw it as her care-free spirit, moving onward.

I remember the first photographs of people who had braved the wintry landscape. They had placed vibrant pebbles amongst the purity of infinite snowflakes clustered together, on the hardened ground. It took my breath away. These were not people I knew, yet their devotion to my creation, was an awakening to my soul. Since then I have come to value the replication of The Heart Pebble Movement as two fold. The initial viewing of a pebble being placed and captured in a snapshot adds to the peak of grace I clutch on to. Next, the story behind the location, what type of pebble it was and what it meant for the individual(s) is like a whisper of kindness, making its way back to me.

One morning, I awoke with a heavy heart, as I did most days-realizing my precious babygirl was no longer here. I went to my computer and upon glancing at a picture; the liquid grief found its way into the crevices of my weary soul.  The snapshot was from a girl who knew Shayla through University. This girl was now travelling around the world and paid homage to my daughter with a breathtaking display of elements. Using seashells and pebbles, a creation emerged of a large S with RIP above it. Nearby, were the rolling waves of the Pacific Ocean, which swirled around the outline of mountains in the Philippines.  This commanding image had me spellbound, for the date of the picture was February 24, 2012, what would have been Shayla’s 22^nd Birthday. Making this vision more enthralling is where I was at the moment I viewed the photograph…alone, in a hotel room, in Maui.

That is another story to be told in time. For now, I want to encourage others who want to be part of this journey and help me in the continual building of a mountain made of pebbles, to get the word out.  Share with your contacts, Church members, tell a neighbour or invite your teacher to include The Heart Pebble Movement as a class project. Whether your participation is solely for my daughter Shayla or incorporates a loved one, family member or friend who has passed away, I support your own pebble journey.  It is my hope that you will share with me the passage it takes you on.

I can be reached at: power2b@shaw.ca

“I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with” ~Plato

Voyages of a Travelling Pebble

"There are moments in life, when the Heart is so full of emotion that if by chance it be shaken, or into its depths like a pebble… drops some careless word, it overflows, and its secret, spilled on the ground like water, can never be gathered together." ~ Henry Wadsworth

This quote binds me to a child who lost her life on December 12, 2011.
On that day, fate collided with tragedy and my 21 year old daughter, Shayla Rae Dawn Driver was taken from me. Her single car wreck on a road besieged with previous accidents spun me out into my own destiny; where moments of chance have played out at the hands of an unseen force.
During the time since Shayla’s death, I have become the voice of a young, promising woman whose life ended on that winter's day. My tears, mirror the courage it has taken me to stand up to those, who disregarded my daughter’s life. My words echo throughout humanity that I will continue to carry on a cause, close to a mother’s heart.
Since the reasons of my blogging are to share the pinnacle moments rooted in pebbles, it lends itself to also being the change we wish to see. For Shayla’s passion for stones helped create The Heart Pebble Movement.
The purpose of the cause is to have anyone who wishes, to set a pebble into a source of water. This could be a pond, the seaside, a fountain, river, waterfall or a creative way of combining the two elements. It is key that I stress that safety must be the number one priority of everyone who participates.  Consider this in your release of a pebble and share with me, as I want to hear of stories that will inspire.
The origin of this movement came a month after Shayla’s passing. I was packing up her belongings and found her beloved winter jacket. At first, I grabbed the coat with the intention to wash it, yet something urged me to put it on. With tears pooling and my hands trembling, I wrapped my arms around myself in a hug. Suddenly, I felt something in the right sleeve. There under the folds of the jacket was a hidden pocket. I opened it and found a black velvet bag. Placing it on the table, I carefully opened to see its contents. Inside were several of my daughter’s treasured pebbles and a tattered piece of paper. Unfolding it, I recognized my writing in an instant. The note was written by me, four years earlier, from mother to daughter. I broke into a rupture of tears. It occurred to me how close I had come to washing away the remnants of my words that conveyed the integrated bond, Shayla and I shared. Lingering memories of our relationship and my daughter’s brilliant connection to pebbles, brings me comfort. I have found countless boxes of Shayla's filled with stones, gems, and crystals.
After Shayla passed, my former boyfriend Paul, shared with me how he had picked a pebble from his own unique assortment of rocks and hiked in the snow to a waterfall. The location was where he and Shayla had hiked the year before. There Paul gently placed a pebble into the icy waters, in her memory. Later, when I was alone, I imagined pebbles released all over the world; a loving tribute, to a young woman, with a golden heart.
Thus began the creation of The Heart Pebble Movement; with the inspiration of a Rose Quartz stone belonging to Shayla. Rose quartz is known as a love gemstone. Its pink color signifies its meaning. It is all about ‘love’ in different forms like love for oneself, love between a mother and child love or universal love. This gemstone can strike an energy that heals broken hearts.
Shayla’s Rose Quartz was with her when she passed away and found its way to me as I mourned her immeasurable loss.
I have received posts and pictures, not only in Canada, but all over North America, Europe and South America. Myself, I have travelled to Hawaii and England to place pebbles for my beloved daughter. Others have set a stone or pebble in on the beaches of the Philippines, in the Amazon River and on top of Machu Picchu. These are a few examples to show how the pebbles have travelled all over the world.
This movement has changed my degree of grieving. Even though I will never get over the loss of my daughter-it has shifted me into a positive light- stripping away the bleak reality of Shayla’s untimely passing.
When I am sent a photograph of where a pebble was immersed in water, it offers me such grace and comfort in a society where I am now known as a Vilomah. This term- derived from Sanskirt- refers to a parent whose child has died.
 By sharing the voyages of these travelling pebbles and the connection to my babygirl, I hope you find the time and place in your life to place one for her.
I encourage and welcome people to share with me their stories and snapshots of The Heart Pebble Movement. It is my hope that the roots of this cause will extend to the branches of a Ponderosa Pine tree…offering us protection along our journeys, as we share in life’s unexpected moments.