When Darkness Sings the Dawn

One of the moments of solitude that I have been graced with since Shayla’s passing, is in the form of Sendall Gardens. This sprawling 3.67 acre park sings it own praises in the many assorted flowers, tapered shrubbery and a variety of exceptional trees.

I recall taking my daughter to this place of splendour and us strolling along, inhaling the backdrop of Hydrangeas, clematis and lilies. Scattered throughout the landscape were secluded areas where we had taken the weight off our feet.  We encircled ourselves in the beauty of nature and looked up at the sky with lavender hues, to imagine the nightscape… full of brilliant stars.

Involving Shayla in my one of my favourite places was another connection I relished with my daughter. I thoroughly enjoyed her face lighting up, when she discovered something.

Returning to Sendall Gardens after losing her felt awkward…at first, almost out of place. I was uneasy and not sure how I would find the same comfort as before. I took light steps all around the area, listening to my footsteps on the crackling branches; echo the loneliness I suffered inside. It took a great deal of focus to give attention to my vivid surroundings. I sat at a wooden ledge by the creek, letting the top branches shelter me from droplets. I took in air blended with composted leaves. My eyes gazed upon the lush greenery with moss clambering the roots of trees. I wondered what hidden treasures lay at the base where I was. What raw materials were concealed amongst the layers of the forest, possibly waiting to be unearthed?

I emerged from my own secret garden and fell in love again with the park of Sendall. This is such a place, where the loss of a loved one finds serenity. An environment that sees the rays of sunlight filtering through the branches, while water flows in a constant state of smooth moving torrents that beckon you to gather nearby.

Nestled amongst suburbia, (just off 50 Ave in Langley, BC) are the grounds of the Botanical gardens. A pleasant addition is a greenhouse, filled with an assortment of tropical plants and flowers. One of the unique planters is an elongated piece of bark, filled with moist soil and packed with an array of succulents. Amidst the foliage are bursts of colour from the fusion of birds of paradise and 13 other exotic plants grown inside the greenhouse. There is also a wonderful tribute to what I refer to as “Bob’s Bench.”  This autumn, I have taken several people from my Grief Group and we have shared tears, stories and countless memories of our loved ones who have passed away.

It is my belief that I was first drawn to this extraordinary location because of its beauty. Now, I simply go there to rejuvenate my weary soul and as my hand settles into a particular area, I have come to know that as grief transforms my life, it can never rearrange the love I have for my sweet angel, Shayla.

By TL Alton

The Duality of the Elements

The very first pebble to be placed as a tribute to my daughter, Shayla was at Norvan Falls. Norvan Falls is Located in Lynn Valley, North Vancouver,  Norvan Falls is a picturesque hike amidst lush forests of western cedars  intermingled with douglas fir trees.

A year earlier, Shayla and my partner hiked a 13-kilometre round-trek in the woods. The exertion needed to reach Norvan Falls, is well worth it! In every picture taken that day, my daughter’s smile lit up against the cascading snowflakes, which surrounded her.

Looking back, and on my journey to place pebbles, I have realized how I am graced with so many memories and locations. This allows me to leave behind a part of her extraordinary legacy and continue to honour The Heart Pebble Movement.

The first time Shayla’s pebbles travelled abroad was to England in February of this year. Packing for the trip to meet my partner’s family, I cautiously chose from her special collection of stones, gems, crystals and of course, pebbles. Over the next nine days, I would travel all over London, Hertfordshire, Cambridge and the English countryside. Standing in front of the waters of the river Tyburn that runs through St. James Park, I placed my first pebble onto a skim of thin ice. It was a feeling of release that encouraged me to do more throughout the area. As I entered Hyde Park, and walked around The Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain, I felt overcome with emotions. It was designed to express Diana's spirit and love of children. Both my daughter and I were fond of the people’s Princess and her devotion to a variety of charities. As I sat on the carved Cornish granite, I was mesmerized by the constant flow of water swirling by over different designs in the stone. The measuring distance of the stream is 10 to 20 ft allowing ample flow to occur. The simplicity of the design offers a gently sloping so that water propelled to the pinnacle of the oval surges downwards on both sides. One section of the stream bed moves down effortlessly with moderate ripples. The other part is a diversity of stone ladders, arcs, and other chiselled forms so that the water acts like a playful child, splashing away.  The water merges together as it pours into a restful pool at the base of the foundation. The two parts were intentional to illustrate the duality of Diana's existence: her joyful era, and tumultuous times. As my fingers ran slowly over the stone, I felt a connection to another care-free spirit, who encompassed a golden heart. Out of respect for the memorial, I knew this was simply a place of reflection and not one to place a pebble. However, I felt a strong urge to take Shayla’s Rose Quartz Heart and put it at certain sections of the fountain.  In doing so, I was reminded how our lives may be consumed with the unconceivable and yet also filled with great expectations.  These were the first of many places I would journey too, while in Europe. Once I opened myself up to the infinite possibilities, I lessened my anticipation on finding the ‘ideal locations’ to drop a pebble. As a result, a world full of opportunity came my way in the most beautiful means available.

“ Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you. “ ~ Princess Diana