A Travel Bag of Memories

A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true - Cinderella

If there is one person in the world who can relate to Shayla’s inspiring legacy and also the incredible loss of her life, then that is Chantel Carriere.  She knew my daughter for nearly her whole life and as I have posted blogs on previously, the bonds of friendship weaved them together. 

 On the weekend, we met up, with plans to go see The Vancouver Aquarium. Yet, as we began our exploring near the Laughing Statues at English Bay, it was understood we were open to whatever form of discovery that led the way. 

Since Chantel had never been to Stanley Park or walked along the seawall, I felt this was a wonderful chance to simply allow the day to unfold. 

I pointed out the energy balancing rocks, magically teetering as if an unseen hand was holding each one up.  My attention was drawn to a set of swings in the playground area. Both Chantel and I knew we had to sit upon them and kick our feet upwards to the sky. We tried singing a song that Shayla loved to belt out, but my out of tune voice and lack of knowing all the words, brought the moment to a close. Without saying it, I know we both felt the void of her colossal presence. 

One thing that we do openly share is that Shayla is still around us is some form, an invisible presence. We see her shape in wisps of clouds, or in a shiny pebble that has glints of sparkle. Her free- spirit is in a shell tossed about by the brisk ocean waters. Shayla’s Aboriginal roots are found in the feather of an eagle or in the curved knots of dancing trees.  The opportunity to disclose what we sense around us, allows her and I, the belief that Shayla will reside eternally in our fractured hearts- whose opening will never close back up, completely. 

We spoke of what we miss the most about the girl with the golden heart. How her laughter resonated within every inch of whatever room or building she entered. I miss how as mother and daughter we would tickle each others arms, ever so softly. For Chantel, she misses many things; especially sharing the epic hours of playing Disney's Monopoly, lying at the beach together and the endless conversations, shared over the years.  Our reminiscing made me think of a poignant quote.  

“Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.”

― Mitch Albom, For One More Day

It was along the path of our time spent together that I shared with others about The Heart Pebble Movement.  I spoke with Law Enforcement, Fire Fighters and the crew in amongst English Bay, about Shayla and it was a chance for my daughter’s best friend to see why this cause is near and dear to me. 

At Siwash Rock, it was decided the best place for a stone release from Shayla’s collection would be here. I said a few words and then passed it on to Chantel. She turned her back and with a toss, it landed perfectly in a pocket of sand on the surface of the rock’s lower part. I liked the notion of the meaning of Siwash Rock to reflect “unselfishness.” Such a word has been used to describe my daughter, who was devoted to a career of helping those in need. 

In the end, the Aquarium would have to wait for another day. Our time of seeing the sights brought us a release of what we know and the ability to hold close the stepping stones that were Shayla’s life…

By T.L. Alton