Reflections to Ponder On

“You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what she'd want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

~David Harkins

The release of pebbles always impresses upon me the value of the elements. Along with the flow of movement, as stones are placed in water, each vivid image summons the love for my daughter. Every time, my own supply of pebbles seems to be dwindling, I am blessed with a new source or someone else participates in the cause.

Such is the case with Sonia and her two children, Daniel and Amy. The family are from Britain and now reside in the Fraser Valley. Sonia and I met through her workplace.  We have shared in the Color Me Rad event, trips to Crescent Beach and the release of pebbles. The involvement of Sonia’s two children is something I will cherish, always. 

Last year, I hosted a Bursary Event. Sonia attended with Daniel and Amy, along with a friend, Kate. I had a table set up where pebbles were available to be wrote on and later freed into water, by myself. The original place to release them was a murky, overflowing river that had a long line of sandbags blocking access. It took many months before a proper location was found for me to put them into the ocean at Kitsilano Beach. Every pebble let go is with consideration and diligence. I take that moment in time as I throw them, to appreciate every ripple made being the essence of Shayla’s legacy. 

This would not be the first time Sonia involved her children to be part of The Heart Pebble Movement(THPM). One day, she shared with me how her, Daniel and Amy had walked along Stanley Park and put some pebbles for my daughter. For me, as a bereaved parent, when families collectively get together and another mother shares the passion of my cause, it instills in me such gratefulness for all of their involvement. 

When I discovered the magnificent gardens of East Hastings Park in Vancouver, BC, I placed a pebble in the Mediterranean sanctuary of Il Giardino Italiano. This one was from Sonia who had written on it her kind words read: “Live, Laugh, Love…each of the above I have done with you Tonya. Love Sonia” 

This year, Sonia went to Las Vegas. Before she left, I saw her and gave a precious stone from Shayla’s collection. I never instruct anyone where or how to release the pebbles. Rather, I love to hear the brilliant stories of their journeys and how people feel compelled to share what they did to take part in the movement. 

Upon Sonia’s return, I was sent several beautiful images. Due to the length of my blogs, I like to upload pictures with the world, that reflect on the purpose of THPM. With Sonia’s participation several times in the cause, I wanted to pay tribute and thank her, Daniel’s and Amy’s involvement. Your compassion for a young girl that you never knew makes me believe in the joy that Shayla would want for me! 

The poem I have posted also mirrors how we can honour our loved ones by letting their memories live on. I have experienced some rare times where now and then- in the glistening of the waters that envelop the pebbles- I see a reflection of my precious babygirl.

By T L. Alton