Who I Am

WHO YOU ARE ~J J Heller

http://youtu.be/nLnz2vo5Z40

Last week at 1:30 in the morning, I was sitting at my kitchen table, over thinking my day and what I had accomplished. As someone who strives to keep busy, I find myself engaged in several tasks at once. It is when the quiet seeps into the room, inhabiting the vulnerable part of my heart that I ponder on my life.

It is the simplest of things that bring me comfort; a baby blanket that once held my daughter, a stuffed animal or a song on the radio. While being seated next to a portrait of Shayla, I heard a melody that plucked at the grief that always has a place within me. 

“Who You Are,” exudes the pain of losing someone you love, but not questioning the purpose of your faith. It radiates a beautiful message and caught my attention, once I settled on to the lyrics. It is at these unexpected times of yearning, mourning and seeking that I find myself in awe of “what will be…”

In time, I look forward to scrap-booking memories that will linger and making note cards from the numerous snapshots I have taken over the years. To find another home for my heartache and a release for the pain that tries to depress, yet has failed to this point. I meet up with those also suffering the loss of a loved one or keep in touch with those who despair over their bereavement. Most importantly, I connect…in as many ways I possibly can.

Reflecting back on the past year, I have been graced by many strangers who have been open to me sharing such loss. In wanting to participate in The Heart Pebble Movement, they honour my daughter’s quest she wrote in one of her journals: “To see the world through my eyes.”  

With every account of the pebbles that have seen the Amazon, Philippines, Hawaii, England, Caribbean, Scotland and more, I know that beyond this young girl’s death is a legacy of love, whose ripples continue on, far beyond the horizon.

By T L. Alton