Love Sewn into a Tapestry of Colourful Memories

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

To be a mother is to embrace labour in more ways than being expectant. It is to observe the heart of a woman that does not have to give birth naturally to have the ties that bond one another. Shayla was one of those young women who was deeply loved by both me and another special lady.

Joanne Wilson is the mother of Shayla’s boyfriend, David. She was a woman who influenced my daughter in a harmonious way. When Shayla moved to Kamloops to attend University, it was a void that I struggled with. I knew she was seeking an education and when my daughter fell in love, the one thing she confided was how much Joanne reminded her of me. There was one difference though that separated the two of us. Where I had no natural skills to stitch and fashion things, Shayla and Joanne bonded over sewing and hemming beautiful creations. From hand-made purses, to Betty Boop pillow covers and pajamas, I marvelled at both their skills and connection they were sharing. When visiting me, Shayla would proudly show off her newly sewn articles. Through Joanne, she gained pride in her work and a desire to take pieces of fabric to turn into something she treasured. I could not imagine Joanne’s passion for sewing would be the gift granted to me, 11 months after my daughter had passed.

Back in January, I stayed with David at the home he shared with my daughter. I spent weeks sorting through her life and went through closets of clothes. Joanne had made a request for any special t-shirts, dresses, etc to be given to her, once I was done with my donations to a local woman’s’ shelter. In the end, I gave several bags to her, knowing she would embark on creating something extraordinary. What I had not considered was the dramatic impact it would have on my life in a positive way.

Two weeks ago, I contacted Joanne to say I was in the city to present the Bursary in Shayla’s memory at Thompson River’s University. She asked to come over where I was staying. I looked forward to seeing her again. I have come to value and see in this woman, what Shayla did…a mother who sacrificed for all of her children and has a loving heart, with much to give.

Arriving the next morning, with one of her daughters, Joanne presented me with the most exquisite two-sided handmade quilt that I have ever seen! It took her and her sister only two months to complete a present in which no language conveys my gratitude. It embodies the heroism of Shayla, her devotion to her community and the non-profit organizations she lent her time too. There is the Orangutan Foundation t-shirt Shayla was passionate about in fighting against the use of Palm oil products. Her Anti-Bullying statement she wore with pride, as someone who was subjected to the cruelty of others; Shayla was empowered to help others. The quilt also contains pieces of her past that are connected to dance; a glove from a performance, a felt hat with flames she loved to wear and her belly dancing string of coins that dangle from it. When I bought my daughter a henna kit, the first image sent to me was a spiral sun and the word: “LIFE” she inscribed with henna on her hand. This striking image is now surrounded with fragments of one of my angel’s first dresses when she was a little girl. There are two of Shayla’s favourite quotes that she lived by: Be the change you wish to see in this world and her very own saying: It’s okay to fight…as long as your fighting for Someone or Something!  The touching letters of her name ~ Shayla, are embroidered, along with my nickname for her…Babygirl. On both sides of this magnificent creation is the symbol that she had tattooed on her ankle- a red and black nautical star with the word Hope underneath. When I look at this quilt I see Shayla’s love and when I held it in my hands the first time, I shed a mother’s tears all over it. Wrapping my arms around Joanne, I fought back the desire to drape her incredible gift around me. This is a woman who deeply loved my daughter like her very own! The labour she gave came in the form of tenderly stitched together squares to blossom into a work of art, I will cherish forever.

On the eve of the Awards night, I showed up to the University. After presenting Annie Leonard, The Shayla Rae Dawn Driver Memorial Bursary, I brought out the quilt to share with others. Since then, I have shown it to Shayla’s father Dave, her sister Kim and friends. Today, I was presented another pay it forward gift in the form of a Reiki Practitioner, Pauline Keilty.  I met this vibrant woman in a store called Bone’s & Stones Décor. This lady coincidentally resides in McKinley Landing, not far from where Dave lives. She offered me a free session of Reiki and I was taken on a journey of the soul, unlike anything I have encountered since Shayla’s passing. Besides sharing stories and memories, I also told her of this lovely quilt. Pauline gave me the wonderful suggestion of having it placed in our guestroom as a means of focus; solitude and mediation for me, once I arrive back home. What makes it such a place of healing is the quilt will grace Shayla’s bed.

Throughout this trip, I have found my travels to be filled with much closure, with a lot more to learn and experience on this path of uncertainty.  Yet at the deep abyss of my broken heart, is a new chapter I feel is about to unfold in the New Year. The radiance that was Shayla’s light has now been fused into an amazing creation bore out of love from a woman who was my babygirl’s second mother.

Thank you Joanne, for the things you shared and the life lessons you taught Shayla. I am grateful that she had you be part of her world.  This connected you forever, over the sewing that saw her admire you as a mother and a mentor. Shayla will stay in your heart and in the recollections the two of you shared in the basement of your home. I look forward to being in the quietness of my own place and being able to give myself a ((HUG)) with the quilt; an essence of who our sweet angel will always remain.

By T L. Alton