It is interesting how one simple word can have variations of meaning. Over a year ago, if I was asked what “CHANGE” meant to me, I would have shrugged it off as simply some coins that jangle in your pocket. Now-almost a year later- nearing the day of my daughter’s passing, the word CHANGE means something entirely different.
I recall, back in the spring of 2011, Shayla and I sharing a video. It was not the usual new release or hit of the week song; unexpectedly the gift that we shared was in a 10 minute video called: “Change for a Dollar.” What it created between my daughter and I, was an opening to share how one person can make a difference.
Fast forward to this year-when I was sent a photograph of a pebble-teetering at Horseshoe Falls. These magnificent waterfalls are part of the Niagara River and are found mostly on the Canadian side of the Canada- United States border. The Horseshoe part cascading over is one of the most impressive forces of nature. A dear friend of mine, Amanda, decided it was this specific location to release a pebble in memory of Shayla.
My friendship with Amanda is two-fold. First, this quote sums up how our connection goes deeper than the surface:
A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. – Unknown.
Secondly, she has encouraged me as a person living with a serious chronic illness, to embrace the uniqueness that shows my beauty. Amanda does not see me as having shortcomings; rather she notices my dreams aglow with aspiration. Even when life has given me a deluge of challenges, my friend listens to the burdens I have to share. She throws her arms around me to somehow carry the weight and the conviviality she offers, is part of her grace. With wisps of her crimson strands of hair, and a smile full of warmth, Amanda and I keep the doors of friendship open by accepting that change is a part of life.
The one thing that we never expected to share in was the loss of my beloved daughter. Since Shayla’s passing, I can recall telephone conversations where my hurt and anger spilled into the lines that connected us. There were tears crammed with more than liquid; every ounce of my pain was filtering through me. The sorrow was turned up on those discussions between us and with each connection we made; I know Amanda could truly sense my inexcusable loss. Having met my babygirl left an imprint on my friend as Shayla has done on so many.
In wanting to share Amanda’s placement of the pebble at Niagara- Horseshoe Falls, I came upon the poignant video that Shayla and I had openly wept at. I knew that in order to weave the structure of our friendship, the meaning of CHANGE and the beauty of a pebble; I needed to post a link to a video that everyone needs to see.
For me, CHANGE has stained my broken heart with loss, fury, vulnerability, and signified a demand for transformation of McKinley Landing Road. It spear-headed me as a mother grieving, to stand up for a young woman, whose voice was silenced on December 12, 2011. CHANGE converted my abhorrence to those in power, who long ago NEVER did anything to fix the deadly stretch. In its place I am choosing to honour the safety measures finally now made, because of her tragic death.
The difference between a life ended suddenly and a life taken as a sacrifice for CHANGE is the legacy it leaves behind. I know with all my heart that Shayla’s passing will never be in vain! Every vehicle that travels over the road, near the icy waters of the reservoir is now separated from the same demise. A line of concrete barriers and alterations to the road represent the many lives it may save!
Shayla’s emotion over the Change for a Dollar video was genuine. To put into words how I felt the first time seeing the portion of McKinley Landing fixed, is incomparable. Yet the message of not taking life for granted is parallel. I also feel this sense of connection with Amanda. She has been an advocate of all things and her own desire to make change in this world, is an inspiration to me.
For all the Amazing Amanda’s who never hesitate to care…this is for you!
"If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile... But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me." – Unknown
By T L. Alton
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please feel free to post a comment. Remember after you have written something, please click on the options given, press continue and then click on PUBLISH. Thank You :)