When Words to Live By Echo Reckoning

To sum up the past week: a series of events bringing closure and focused on having faith that all things happen for a reason.

My return to the blog I am passionate in sharing, comes on the tail end of days filled with pushing the limits of a bereaved parent. A wrapping up of unfinished business concerning Shayla has finally erupted in many apologies granted to both her father and I. Long overdue, to finally be at peace with things that have been out of my control, is like a cleansing of our broken hearts.

The main re-stitching of old wounds has come in the widening of a section of McKinley Landing. The drastic make-over of the road being finally given the safety measures needed is bittersweet. It only took 8 weeks for the changes to take place and help to ensure the secure travels of others. Seeing it for the first time, I felt a lump in my throat, knowing had the road been repaired years earlier, our precious daughter would still be alive! Hence the re-stitching may have occurred but not the actual healing.

I have attended two causes that are directly related to Shayla. The first took place last week in Kelowna, BC. It is a campaign formed by Paul Hergott called: “One Crash is Too Many.” The Mayor of Kelowna, Walter Grey proclaimed November 21, 2012 as “Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims”, after a request by One Crash is Too Many. The origins of the cause was started in 1993 by a British charity called RoadPeace, and in 2005, the United Nation (U.N.) decided to make “World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims” the third Sunday of November.

I personally spoke with Paul and shared with him the loss of Shayla and the terrible impact it has had on all of our lives. I was grateful when he mentioned my daughter- as a name and not simply a statistic. I also stressed the legendary hazards of driving McKinley Landing and how the road has finally been repaired with several safety measures. I was able to meet and speak with Const. Kris Clark, whose mission in life is to see traffic-related accidents and deaths reduced through public awareness and taking responsibility on the roads.

Speaking with Castanet News and interviewed by reporter Jennifer Zielinski, I conveyed the message of how important it is for me as a bereaved mother that Shayla’s life had a value! Her purpose was to ‘Be the Change she wished to see in this world.’ Never could I imagine that I would be sharing with the world the enormous difference she made; a mark that signifies she was here and brought transformation to McKinley.

http://youtu.be/yQw4-KGGJgE

The other event we attended was Thompson Rivers University Awards Ceremony. Shayla’s father Dave and I proudly gave a $1,000.00 cheque to the deserving recipient, Annie Leonard.  We were overwhelmed with emotions; especially when we found out how Shayla and Annie had connected. It was as a result of Annie being bullied and our daughter standing up for her. We had taught Shayla to be a leader in life and knowing she had lived by those words, brought us such joy.

Annie’s kind heart was evident when she gave us a gift she originally had bought for Shayla- a lovely native print scarf. Last year, she had hoped to give it to our daughter as a present, when she returned from her visit in Kelowna. Sadly, she would never come back. In addition to the scarf, Annie gave me a crystal –like cube, which has hands open around a heart. This striking image reflects on the beauty of Shayla that resided within her care-free spirit. When we arrived at TRU, I brought along a gift from Joanne Wilson. She is the mother of Shayla’s boyfriend. She had come to see me and bestow upon me the most beautiful creation. A labour of love, she gave me a two-sided quilt. This extraordinary work of magnificence was connected to the suffering of my loss, yet in the most beautiful way. Months earlier, I had given Joanne several bags of Shayla’s clothes. This quilt consisted of t-shirts, purses, baby clothes, dance wear, quotes and personal items all belonging to our sweet angel. My tears spilled over it as I touched the brilliant memories each item contained. By sharing it with Annie, we were linked in the emotions, yet were able to reminisce about the girl with the golden heart.

This past week has been an exhausting journey; miles on the road travelled, bonding with people who love our babygirl. We met with individuals who we told of our daughter’s existence and finally wrapped ourselves around some much needed closure.   I am behind in my postings of pebbles, whose stories and images have been shared with me. I was okay with being temporarily ‘separated’ from my blog writing. I have been composing articles and sharing stories with publications and a website, who want to spread the legacy of our daughter.

In the midst of the darkness, I have possessed clarity.  In a turbid place of sorrow, my tears have reached the sea, knowing Shayla will always reside within me. She would want her momma to take time for herself and set new sails beyond the realms of grief. I feel though it will take months, even years before I can ascend the peaks of obtaining peace fully. In the meantime, I will continue The Heart Pebble Movement, as a way to remember a young girl so full of promise and life.

Almost a year later, I have transitioned from loving my daughter Shayla, to embracing the unseen but heartfelt angel that I am surrounded by.

By T L. Alton

http://www.onecrashistoomany.com/

                                                 Campaign by Paul Hergott