The Beauty of Release

California has a beautiful coastline. It can be a rough coastline. The waves are huge. The rocks are steep. … It's dramatic. - Jennifer Granholm

There is in the depths of grief that serves a purpose; a freeing of emotions that is my desire to release. I have found its rationale in the form of The Heart Pebble Movement and the branches of friendship; measured in the tears shared amongst those who have remained True friends. Grief has enabled me to discover the simple flow of its presence; connecting me to places, people and things. An unlikely teacher, the mourning process cores through my veins; at times it makes me catch my breath, other moments bringing me to my knees.  This painful journey, as isolated I may feel sometimes, has not been a solo passage. I now am coupled with my heartache to others suffering the loss of a loved one.

 It was in my Grief Group, offered through The Langley Hospice Society, that I first met Katherine. Her personal route along the throes of sadness brought us together. She was mourning her husband and I was in bereavement over my daughter. Our guards were up in a room full of strangers and I recall saying to the group of people. “I do not want to be here.” Looking back, it was a daft thing to remark as it was obvious no one else wanted to be a part of a Grief Group either. Due to the sensitive information that is shared amongst those participating in the 10 week course and respect for those grieving, I am only sharing where we met. I know that through us connecting over our anguish, Katherine and I have become friends.

 As we weave the tapestry of loss, trying to make sense of the compartment of our hearts that once held shelter; we have revealed our wounds to each other. I have felt her tears on my shoulder, held her trembling hand and sat at Sendall Gardens, under a canopy of darkness as we spilled our pain into the dusk.  Through it all, my discoveries about Katherine have revealed a woman whose spirit is unwavering in her quest to eventually move to California. The peace that is written all over her is invoked by the pristine coastline that stretches for miles. I know her voyage is to continue and bring her to the USA, as the seasons have come and gone, she has not wavered in her desire to settle there.

During the past months, Katherine has travelled where the seaside thrives, from mountain lakes and streams, to the endless Pacific coastline; this is where she feels at home. With the California sun, her tears seem to be soothed, while her weary soul is restored with the pounding surf. It is here, she tends to the scars left behind from the loss of a man whose love for her was undeniable.

 On her last trip, Katherine had picked a special pebble from Shayla’s collection to place in California and honour my daughter through The Heart Pebble Movement.  I knew the journey the pebble would take would be one of discovery for Katherine too.

Recently, I met with my dear friend and she handed me an envelope. Her warm smile expressed a sense of contentment. She explained how she had gone to Morro Strand State Beach, a coastline where the grains of sand are smoothed by the winds. Katherine shared the release of the pebble and how it reminded her of a heart. Her thoughtfulness was spoken in her genuine feelings of what it meant to partake in the cause. It did not matter how broken she felt inside, for Katherine was embracing what many others have. In doing so, she let the subtle layers of the movement take hold; sharing in the inspiration.

Once back home, I opened the envelope to find a dozen snapshots of her visit to Morro Strand State Beach. Each picture had words of description on the back. There was a handwritten note sharing how she had delivered Shayla’s pebble to the Pacific Ocean at her ‘most favorite beach.’  It was dated September 8, 2012. Included was a USB stick that had additional video footage of the release, along with the photos as a slideshow. As I looked at everything, the video moved me deeply as I had a visual displaying the beauty of her actions. With Katherine’s permission I am sharing her beautiful photographs and video with the world.

 It is amazing how the simplicity of such a cause has seen people reach out in the form of a pebble, reminding me the essence of which Shayla was… will always remain.

http://youtu.be/IR0aVtIqZD4

By TL. Alton

Journey -Lights (When the Lights Go Down in the City)

http://youtu.be/I6jvJs5jkwI