Raise Your Glass!

Photo: Today's Parent (Willow and mom P!NK)

“Being a mom is the best most natural fit; Life just makes so much sense now.” –P!NK

As a child-my daughter Shayla- always strived to find her own identity, rather than conform to a society that takes little girls and tosses them into a cyclone of stereotypes. She grew up listening to Patsy Cline, Etta James and Elvis. Her imagination unfolded in the circus games she played and in the passion for the rocks she collected. Shayla’s instinct was for her to be drawn to water - whether a pond, lake, stream or ocean, it was nature’s playground that beckoned to her.

Brought into the world at 10 lbs, 10 oz, her size overwhelmed her smaller classmates and Shayla stood out beyond her bulkiness, without any efforts. She was the ‘loud girl’, the fat girl’, ‘the annoying girl’, yet given the chance… people would see she was a flare of radiance. For Shayla was also known for ‘the funny girl,’ ‘the kind-hearted girl’ and the loyal, inspiring friend every girlfriend wants.

The "TRUTH ABOUT LOVE" Is that it is never ending <3

It was through her quest for accepting her inner uniqueness that my daughter connected with the artist known as P!NK. One of her quotes resonates with me about Shayla.

Embrace the freak that you are –P!NK

Her songs of angst, being misunderstood and heartache were always things that both my daughter and I could relate to, together.

At Shayla’s Celebration of Life, to pay tribute to her, I had “Raise Your Glass” play. For those who are not aware of the lyrics, here is a part of the song by P!NK:

So raise your glass if you are wrong-In all the right ways

All my underdogs, we will never, never be-Anything but loud and nitty gritty, dirty little freaks

If you knew Shayla, then you would understand how fitting of a tribute this was.

When I found out P!NK was coming to Vancouver, after a decade had passed since the last time she performed, I was determined to obtain a ticket. My ambitions were soon dashed though when the concert was sold out and people were selling their own tickets for ridiculous prices.

Yesterday, October 21^st was the concert and I travelled into the city, still hopeful of purchasing a ticket. My friends all know that when I am focussed on something I want, I pursue it whole-heartily.

My souvenir from the concert

After Shayla passed, I began a tradition of dying one single strip of my hair pink, to honour the vibrancy that was my babygirl. Last night, was no exception. I left the dye in longer, to symbolize the strong bond her and I still share- from heaven to earth. I also wore the t-shirt I had made…a mother’s love for her child. I have worn it on special occasions and over time it had wore the picture. I took it back into the place where it was created- Dog’s Ear at Willowbrook Mall in Langley, BC. The Management and staff were kind enough to redo Shayla’s picture again, this time for free. I am grateful as the t-shirt is a special way to honour my daughter’s life. 

The T-shirt I designed and wear Proudly!

My mission to buy a ticket once I had arrived at Roger’s Stadium seemed fleeting, as my limited funds were scoffed at by most scalpers. After walking away from two men selling tickets in the price range of $140.00, one of them chased after me and took the cash I had in exchange for a ticket to see P!NK. I was elated and gave him a hug! He looked at me and said, “Go enjoy yourself tonight…for your kid.”

Once inside, I met many people who were drawn to the bright t-shirt I proudly wore. One of the ladies I met was a mother whose name was Samara from Port Alberni. She was a mother of two, a son and a daughter- who she told me was called Kayla. She had such a warmth to her and I appreciated her kindness. Two wonderful ladies also inquired about my shirt and gave me words of encouragement and support. I shared over and over again, Shayla's tragic loss, the beautiful legacy she left behind and lives that will be saved because my daughter changed a part of McKinley Landing Road.

After being seated, I waited in anticipation for the concert to begin. To describe the mind-blowing aerial performances, lyrical dancing, sensational acrobatics and visual explosion that was pure indulgence, is something only one can appreciate LIVE! P!NK raised the roof and also her glass with the song that was played fondly on December 20, 2011 for my babygirl- "Raise Your Glass". Following the end of the song was sinuous energy that flowed consistently throughout the night.  A stream of pulsating lights danced off the muscles of her dance crew while fire streamed from the stage floor- as bodies writhed on an oversized black leather couch- which left the senses overloaded with sheer delight. A revolving sphere of twisted metal, lights and harnesses accompanied P!NK and her entourage for an incredible rendition of "Sober". The lyrical segments of the performances were infused with elegance, mingled with provocativeness and left our imaginations open. I had hoped to hear “Beam Me Up,” yet when I started crying to the song, “Who Knew,” I realized maybe it was best she did not perform the song. While I find it difficult to say one single thing was my sole favourite of the night, I must share the ending song and ariel display of emotion that left me speechless. P!NK performed “Glitter” with her signature act of being draped in gold strips, then hoisted in the air, which had me holding my breath. At one point, her lean body cradled in aerial silk ropes, saw her being lowered beneath the concert stage floor. While still engaged in belting out the lyrics, she resurfaced, dripping in water and spinning above the audience. It will remain for me, a memory of seeing the soul being reborn, through the glory of a replicated baptism.

  Photo by Robert Hanashiro, USA TODAY Staff- Glitter In The Air

After the show ended, I was in a state of being inundated with what I had seen, entertained by P!NK and her entire talented group of performers yet tinged with sadness for not being able to share the event with my daughter. P!NK gave tribute to her own loving relationship with her daughter Willow Sage Hart, in a video montage at the very closing where motherhood is seen as another beautiful extension of who Alecia Moore (P!INK) is.

As I had thought, the platforms to the SkyTrain home were overloaded with people. I decided not to get on the first crammed train and catch the second one. I was fortunate to find a seat and was exhausted, knowing I would not be home until after midnight. My thoughts were interrupted when a young girl, who had been looking at my shirt, asked me: “Are you from Kelowna?” It caught me off guard as I did not recognize her. I answered, “Yes, why do you ask?” She introduced herself as Kim Wilton and that her sister Jodi Wilton had attended school with Shayla and knew her as a friend. Kim went on to say that her family lives on McKinley Landing and how thankful she was for Shayla making the road safer for everyone! I was amazed at the fact that here of all places, after nearing 2 years passed of Shayla’s death, that this girl was expressing how grateful she was the treacherous stretch was now fixed! Kim shared how much nicer and safer it was to drive along the road. I told her that her words meant a lot to me and I appreciated her telling me. I gave her the link to The Heart Pebble Movement and then she got off at her stop.

Shortly after, I met another group of ladies who inquired about Shayla, because of the shirt I was wearing. One of these kind ladies offered me her seat, and then they all listened the entire way back to our final stop, about my daughter and how my shattered life was slowly trying to piece itself back together. I openly shared how Shayla’s death has affected me and how I now live my life by honouring her in a variety of ways. I shed tears and also moments of laughter, but mainly I told my captivated audience that I felt Shayla had been with me – if only in spirit. As we departed, one of the ladies hugged me and her caring words were something that has stayed in my thoughts even as I write this.

I have always understood in the power of believing in something and this night was proof of that…when I was on the SkyTrain travelling into the city, I had already wrote a text before I even had a ticket and saved it as a draft that I would later send to my friends. It read: “P!NK IS IN THE HOUSE AND SO AM I!!!” 

By T.L. Alton