THYME ON 43RD ~ Brookswood Luminaire

When people lose someone they love, the inclination to forget self-care is a consistent factor in the grieving process. Recently, it was brought up in conversation that I must be doing well as I am able to write posts in my blog. I shudder at the notion that someone can define me as in good health, merely because I chose to share words. For me to be carrying on daily, it takes every bit of strength and courage; even to face the world. It is much easier to ‘hide’ behind a computer screen than to actually be in society on a regular basis. When I do venture out, it is to specific places where I feel that I will be in control. Additionally, I prefer locations which reflect the harmony I am seeking.  

THYME ON 43^RD JAPANESE GARDENS is one of those settings that transformed my intention of finding some peace into reality. This stunning place was discovered in December of last year, when I was not looking forward to the holiday season.

Upon arriving at the location in Langley, B.C, the grounds had been transformed into a breathtaking winterscape of brilliant LED lights, Christmas décor and a fusion of warmth; all found in the outdoor structures. 

Every detailed adornment was blended in a whimsical style. Combining the beauty of nature with exceptional golden baubles, lighted deer and a captivating angel, gave the impression of tranquility layered with elegance. 

 My attention was pulled in many directions as I kept finding the loveliest of objects interspersed amongst the Japanese Gardens. Walking over the wooden bridge, I was drawn in by the sound of a cascading waterfall, which plunged into a pond filled with multicolored Koi fish. I strolled along the stone interlocked with lush thyme and found myself, along with my partner, being welcomed by the element of fire at the outdoor hearth.

It was pointed out the roof covering the seating area was active with living plants, which promote a clean atmosphere and is a habitat for birds in the area to come nest. All of the spectacular grounds were created and designed by native Japanese landscapers. 

As a person who has volunteered many years of dedication to community and assisting others, I understand the value and importance of giving back. What impressed me with THYME ON 43^RD JAPANESE GARDENS was the owner- Evelyn Faulkner’s purpose for opening her one- acre gardens to the general public; for a period of time back in December. She kindly asked for any donations to be made at the gate entrance to the gardens, in support of Ronald McDonald House. 

A recent post by Evelyn Faulkner on THYME ON 43^RD JAPANESE GARDENS Facebook page states:    

“Thank you to everyone for their generous donations to Ronald McDonald House during our recent event, Brookswood Luminaire! We raised $5200.00 which enables a family to stay at the house for 80 nights! Well done!”

As I am not on Facebook anymore, I was fortunate to still be able to access the update and provide to my readers, the generous contributions people made over the holiday season, to the worthy cause of Ronald McDonald House.

Being a mother who has lost a child, I was able to connect with Evelyn Faulkner’s purpose of supporting an organization that assists families when they are facing challenging times. For me, I found grace under the shelter of palm trees, in the midst of a darken night aglow with marvelous simplicity. It was a place where I could abandon my sorrow and accustom myself to the sheer idea of wellness. 

This one evening in December, uncertain of what I may find, I was greeted by the devotion of those wanting to share the true essence of what Christmas is all about: to stir the imagination, ignite the senses and find the light within all of us. 

By T L. Alton 

* I would like to further add THYME ON 43RD  JAPANESE GARDENS is seeking Corporate Sponsorship. As Evelyn would like to open her garden 1 day a week for respite, for caregivers and people needing healing in any way. If she were able to secure Sponsorship, she considers it a blessing.

* Thyme on 43rd is located at 21004 43 Ave. For further information on booking THYME ON 43^RD JAPANESE GARDENS for Fundraisers, Private Tours and Events, Contact: info@thymeon43rd.com or 

Telephone: 604-534-5902

A (Un) Celebration

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~Albert Schweitzer

http://youtu.be/2tMKO_9SD1Y

 

The twists and circle of life, which have occupied my world in such an unusual manner, make noticing the unexpected much easier than realism. Shayla’s untimely, tragic death held no immunity. Since her passing, I have come to believe even more in heaven than prior to. They say there is two roads one travels down when faced with an abrupt death; either you cling tighter to the God you hold near or you look to blame his very existence.  I chose to respect things I hold in high regard: Faith, Destiny and the light within my daughter that I know exists. Walking along a trail riddled in pretense, every time the light was threatened to be sealed, it found its way out and broke free of the dark shadows. In fact, I have known more of odium than of worship and yet an unforeseen energy propels me forward, no matter what battles I have faced.

This year’s birthday that came to pass last week was no exception. I awoke, with the intention of hiding in my home, with plans that my ears would be entertained by the lyrics of misery and loss. What made their acquaintance known though were filaments of sunshine, peeking through the blinds. I was struck by the knowledge it was a winter’s day in the middle of January, and this was occurring. Stretching, I looked at the clock that I had hit the snooze button, repeatedly. It was late in the morning and all I wanted to do was tuck my pajamas back under my duvet. I fumbled with the coffee machine, allowing my nostrils to slowly inhale the aromas of Columbia. Suddenly, I heard the sound of our mail being delivered. Instinctively, I reached for my usual correspondence of junk letters, when I spotted an envelope from Thompson Rivers University- where Shayla had attended. My heart sank looking at the size of the envelope. It appeared to me that it was the University returning Shayla’s death certificate. They had requested a copy to deal with her student loans and now here I was the day of my birthday and THIS is what I was to receive? I angrily tossed it on the counter, insulted at its belligerent timing! I grabbed my coffee cup- a Disney mug that I had once bought my daughter and now being used in a regrettable way.

 Starting my computer, I was looking for a tune that fit my surly mood. Yet, I could not help but stare at the envelope with my name on it. My attention was led away, once again when my account for my music came up. I receive daily recommendations of music, based on my likes and favourite genres. For this particular day, the song was “Feel Again” by One Republic- a band Shayla was fond of and even had one particular melody that she had called her own.  Upon clicking on the video, I sat and watched in amazement the radiance of the lyrics, the kaleidoscope of light used and the golden sphere at the beginning which beckoned me to come along for a visual ride. By the end, I knew my recommendation was heavenly sent.  This placed me in a mood where the sun’s rays that had been cast earlier in my bedroom, were to be found in every corner of my home.  This is all it took to break the mold of despair and realize that had I not been brought into this world- years ago, then my own beam of light would not have graced this earth. 

I sprinted over to the envelope and ripped it open. I was capitulated into joy at an instant when I saw a beautiful photograph card. It was of the day when The Shayla Rae Dawn Driver Memorial Bursary, had been awarded to a dear friend of Shayla’s.  It was a snapshot of all three of us: me, Annie and Dave. Our smiles filled up the space as the love of our sweet angel was evident. Pausing for a moment, I reflected on how I thought I would never receive a birthday card from my babygirl and yet in my hand was something that felt it was from her.

As I went about getting ready for the day, the image looking back at me in my mirror, did not make me cry…instead I was greeted by a mother intent on keeping a promise to her daughter; to always try and find something to make me smile. My reflection was one in which I had seen many times before, but now it was full of a vibrant cotton candy hue, once again. Since Shayla’s passing, I have –every month- dyed one large strip of my hair pink as a tribute to her vivacious personality. What made today even more brilliant was the fact that I was renewing my license. I encountered the usual questions about my hair and gave the same answer, every time…

“I did it for my daughter, Shayla Driver, who died in a car accident”. 

It is a badge of honour to be able to stand up and say her name. To show the world that she is not gone and forgotten; instead her magnificence is captured in the wings of a butterfly and her memory is forever contained on a granite stone. 

What made my birthday-the second one since Shayla died- incomparable to the last… is that out of the ordinary parts of life, I found something exceptional… to allow both of us to be remembered.

By T L. Alton

Where a Mouse Became a Legend ~ Part 2

Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world. ~ Walt Disney

In a testament to the bond of friendship, Chantel Carriere has maintained her devotion to Shayla through a series of actions that speak volumes on what they shared together. I was touched deeply by what she has created in memory of her best friend.

 In October 2012, Chantel and her family embarked on a Disney adventure to California. They had been before and were returning with a different purpose. As Shayla’s best friend, Chantel and she had grown up together they formed a sisterhood pact in a sacred ceremony; where they vowed to be “Friends Forever…Even longer.” 

In honouring Shayla and The Heart Pebble Movement, Chantel and her mom, Rene used part of their time in Disneyland to disperse pebbles all over the park, in a safe manner. In doing so, they also shared in my daughters memories. 

While vacationing at Disney, Chantel had a sparkling piece of fool’s gold that she would place in detailed areas and capture the moment through her camera lens. This was one she treasured and kept close to her heart. The other pebbles were also set upon specific locations, then released in however way that seemed right. From the inside of Mr. Toad’s mouth to overlooking Pixie Hollow, a trail of cherished pebbles was now left behind along with their footsteps. 

As I received each brilliant photograph, I saw the love that was connected with every image.  The picture of Snow White and Seven Dwarfs contained the shining gold, perched upon a railing. Another showed in the Princess area, the fool’s gold with beauty and lush foliage, overlooking a stream. It is interesting to note this gemstone holds the energy of fire and earth element.

One of my favourites is the image of a pebble balanced on a fence, with the dazzling lights casting back, off the water of the California Adventure Park. Mickey Mouse’s face surrounded by a rainbow array of illumination, balances the glow of Paradise Pier. 

In admiring these pictures, I have to also pay respect to a man who believed in a mouse. A visionary with a stunning imagination, his legacy was to bring radiance to the darkness. Walt Disney continues to surround us with his dreaming and offers us a place where lost childhoods can be rediscovered.

Through what two young girls forged long ago, Chantel continues to let the magic of Disney unite what she and Shayla shared… into a bridge of healing and light. 

By T .L Alton

A Walk to Reflect On ~ Part 1

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.

"Pooh?" he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Last September, I was in the Okanagan and had the opportunity to spend an entire day with Shayla’s best friend, Chantel. Our plan was to leave pebbles from Shayla’s collection, all over certain locations in Kelowna that had significant meaning to her.

On a breathtaking autumn day, we sat at a concrete table where once Shayla had been, having her photographs taken at the same beach area, many years ago. We were not following any particular order; only being led by an unseen care-free energy in the air. I spoke openly with Chantel about many things and found it easy to confide in her. There was no need to wear any masks and next to me… Chantel was someone who knew every aspect of Shayla.  As all of the pebbles were set out, the only one we would not be releasing was the Shae Pebble I had created from where I bought it from: The Angelic Teapot. This was included amongst the others to show to Chantel and would be a part of our many pictures taken that day. 

A few hours later and with much input, we set out to place the first pebble in the lake, where Shayla’s feet had been immersed, many times. What struck us right away was the sparkling purple layer of what appeared to be glitter upon the beach. After sometime, we could not figure out what it was and smiled wondering if it may have been pixie dust left behind. Since Chantel and Shayla were passionate about Disney, this only made sense. After all, this day was to honour the nature of their relationship and the bonds of their friendship that spanned almost twenty years.

As we strolled onto a pier where my daughter use to swim off of, I went to take a photograph of her holding a pebble for Shae. It was then that Chantel pointed out to me the message written on the post of the dock. “You mean the world to me! Please Don’t Leave!” These words could easily have been scrawled by either one of us, yet the unknown person responsible echoed the sentiments of our broken hearts. 

Working our way back into the city, we gazed up at the sky to see the following image. To us, the formation of the wispy clouds appeared to look like an S with a set of wings on the tip of them. Again, we found ourselves smiling and giving each other a knowing glance that we had just been given a sign. 

The two of us continued all over parts of Kelowna that meant something: the Remembrance Cenotaph where Shayla use to take part in the annual Air Cadet March. A swing set where the innocence of my daughter’s childhood could be found. The Spirit of the Sail, which can be seen as the background for many of Shayla’s snapshots over the years she resided in the city. We placed another pebble at the W.A.C Bennett Clock on Queensway, where Shae would ride the transit and meet-up with people. This led us to a secret garden of sorts behind the clock tower and through wooden gates to the Japanese-inspired Kasugai Gardens. Once my feet stepped onto the path, immediately I felt the need to immerse a stone in a location that I will keep private. At times, it does not matter that the entire world knows where I have laid a pebble; for me it is an offering between my child that has passed away and her grieving mother. Throughout the day, Chantel was given the opportunity to choose whichever pebble one she wanted and put them in the areas she felt were right. One brilliant stone that was unique had deep impression of lines embedded in the red and white pebble. It reminded Chantel of scars, with the distinctive form and etchings, she felt compelled to release it into the open pond. Soon, it was engulfed and lay at the bottom, while Koi fish swam around the blossoming water lilies- one of Shayla’s favourite flowers. 

One of the last places we paid tribute to their remarkable union of friendship was at a cascading waterfall. It was here a few more words of empathy were said and we released an exceptional pebble for an amazing soul.

In writing this, I was granted a day of insight, the privilege to see firsthand how even in her passing, Shayla and Chantel will stay connected, Forever. 

By T L. Alton