So Far Away...

"The sea cast forth a heart of stone, divided but unbroken. Hold on to love, it cries to us in words unwrit, unspoken... “~ Braldt Bralds

My Heart of Stone Pebbles Collection

Video Link:  “From Where You Are” ~ Life House       

 http://youtu.be/LBh7Muv0yac

Since the passing of Shayla, I have reached out to communities, in hopes of finding a reprieve from the concealed wounds of my unrepairable spirit. For me, it is a need to try and make sense of unanswered questions. There is a desire to share the story of my daughter.  Wanting to belong amongst people who understand bits of my journey- is a way to awaken the fragility of our own lives.

Mirrored in the deaths of those who have perished in car crashes, there is a sense of awakening. It necessitates the ‘fight or flight’ trait in all of us. Whether or not we chose to stand up for those silenced to prevent the demise of another human being, or simply run as far away in the opposite direction from where the tragedy occurred- is something not usually determined until one finds themselves in the dire circumstances.  

Beyond my participation in group counselling at Hospice, I was drawn to an organization called: “One Crash is Too Many.” The involvement and dedication of both Paul and Terri Hergott, has enabled me as a grieving mother, a platform to be able to share Shayla’s story… tragic as it is.

On the website: http://www.onecrashistoomany.com/  there is heart- wrenching personal stories about the consequences of car accidents. Everything from speed, driver distraction, and drunk driving are focussed on. The navigation bar includes getting involved, statistics, awareness videos and events.

Last year, in Kelowna, on November 21 – I attended Canada’s fifth annual National Day of Remembrance for Road Crash Victims. This was my first introduction to Paul and his campaign aimed at reducing deaths and injuries of those who drive. Further information provided on the One Crash is Too Many site states the following:

“Our goal is to promote the World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims in British Columbia-World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims – third Sunday in November.”

This valuable website contains the essentials of preventative measures in avoiding the tragic results of vehicle accidents. It also is a place where you do not want your photograph shown due to your death.

Since the passing of my daughter, I have been in contact with both Terri and Paul-now and then- to share more about the young 21 year old I tenderly refer to as “Babygirl.” They have been supportive and compassionate about the loss of Shayla. Terri has posted pictures and video links on their site directly connected to my daughter. Every request they have granted me, assists in the grieving process.

With every passing day, I face a new analysis in my outlook of what actually occurred that fateful day on December 12, 2011. One thing that needs to be brought to people’s attention and hopefully springs a person into action, is how the inside of your vehicle is loaded with ‘projected missiles.’ Four days after Shayla’s death, we were cleaning out her car. The twisted carnage can only be described as a bloody mess! The caved roof made me fall to my knees and scream inside. Frozen chunks of ice, stared menacing at me…a foreboding image of their deadly force, made my hands clench in fists of anguish! The vehicle had sat in a dry area for several days and still they remained solid and jagged. Tiny shards of glass had exploded inside the car…all over my daughter! As I started to fill the empty bags we had brought along, a sinking feeling begun to make me realize something. To my horror, every single item in Shayla’s car had been a weapon aimed straight at her, as it flipped over a 30 ft embankment! There were heavy school books, ceramic mugs, a box of stuff for the local Thrift store, numerous small plates and much more. She was a third year University student, who ‘lived’ out of her car…Never imagining that she was driving in a loaded weapon! Since that nightmarish day, I have additionally viewed a CD with over 150 images of the accident scene, while Shayla’s body was removed; I have filled in the blanks myself.

One cannot envision what goes through my mind as I try hard to fight those last disturbing images and yet a quote on the One Crash is Too Many site sums up what I am trying to convey:

 “If every time we get behind the wheel we remember the victims of avoidable car crashes, our world will be a safer place.” – One Crash is Too Many 

If one person reading this goes out to their vehicle and cleans it thoroughly, then my hope in making a small difference will ease my brokenness.

I will continue to show my appreciation and support to the campaign that implores people to remain those who want to stay amongst the living.

Please take the time to go onto the website…you never know that it may someday prevent you from being ‘featured’ on it! 

By T L Alton