An Ounce of Prevention

“Do not judge the bereaved mother. She comes in many forms. She is breathing, but she is dying. She may look young, but inside she has become ancient. She smiles, but her heart sobs. She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS but she IS NOT, all at once. She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.” 

 ~Author Unknown

In my opinion, a car crash that is the result of speed, driver distraction, impairment or texting, means a motor vehicle became a loaded weapon, which resulted in tragic loss(es). Never can one ‘accident’ be compared to another as to do so is to diminish each life that was taken. This is something I have learned on the journey as a bereavement parent. Every story is bittersweet, from mothers who offers precious recollections in one breath and intertwines it with vivid memories of what the twisted wreckage looked like. This jagged parallel has formed around the broken hearts of many whose child(ren) were taken far too soon.

Lately, my world has been connected with those who have been directly affected by impaired drivers. Through several phone calls and emails, I was put in touch with Markita Kaulius, who formed a group, with her husband Victor, called Families For Justice after the death of their 22-year-old daughter Kassandra Kaulius. In May 2011, Kassandra was killed when her car was hit by an impaired driver. Since her passing, Markita has been involved in numerous events aimed at prevention, awareness and campaigning for changes that would see stricter laws for those who chose to place themselves behind the wheel, while impaired. One of the events organized by the Kaulius family and Families for Justice was - “Remembering Someone Special.”  In November 2012, a collection of more than 1,800 pairs of shoes was put on display outside Surrey provincial court-Each pair of shoes represented people who have been killed here in Canada. 
 
Families For Justice group can be found on Face book, if anyone would like to add their name on their Petition for tougher sentences, for anyone convicted of impaired driving causing a death. Download a copy of the Petition and ask your friends and family to sign it and return it to Families For Justice. Their mailing address is on the Petition.

After speaking with Markita, I felt I had gained further insight to another side of loss…one in which an impaired person chose to use their vehicle as a weapon of destruction against an innocent person.

According to a report released in January 2013 by Statistics Canada- although the drunk driving rate dropped in Ontario and Quebec- the rate in B.C. has risen by 49 per cent since 2001.

On the weekend, I attended a Cancer Fundraiser event called: “Gone Country.” While the usual food vendors, beer gardens and performers were there, I was introduced to something I had not seen. It is known as Canadian Breath Analyzer Unit. Wrapped up in the concept is the promotion of the establishment it is set up in, education on how to use it and prevention- in making drinkers aware what their Blood Alcohol Content (B.A.C) is; whether or not it is safe to drive. I was given an easy instruction of the operating system by Sean and Bethany. Shortly after, I witnessed myself, two patrons who had been drinking- utilize the unit. I was impressed with the concept and the accuracy of these units. I would like it to be mandatory at all events, weddings, festivals, birthdays and Christmas parties -not simply an option.

For further information, please click on the following link:

Canadian Breath Analyzer Company

~ “Have the time of your life because we’ve got your B.A.C.”

www.cbacompany.ca

1-855-546-9192 

My grieving path has also led me to another site, where uploading and posting, made my despair come out full force. No mother, parent or loved one should have to pick a photograph and write a sentiment about the death of their child. Yet, that is exactly what I felt compelled to do…to continue sharing the loss of my sweet angel, Shayla Rae Dawn Driver. I have been immersed in this bereaved role for over a year and a half and yet as I read the many tributes on-line, the crevices on my face were sullied once again with tears of suffering.

I offer this link as a way of others to post and share a tribute. These websites are not endorsements as I only gain the satisfaction of awareness to others.

National Day of Remembrance for Road Crash Victims – November 30, 2013

We invite you to create a tribute to someone you've lost or whose life has been forever changed as the result of a tragedy on the road.

http://ccmta.ca/remember_souvenez-vous/tribute.php

  

My favourites ‘saved’ on my computer now consist of organizations connected to road safety, bereaved parents and endless quotes and images on loss. So far, I have managed to wade myself through a mired process of grief and garner strength from every corner of the world- where a treasured pebble is placed for my daughter. I know now that I am changed forever by this tragedy. Still unknown though is what lies before me… but with each footstep taken; I am gradually letting the sacred memories of Shayla, replace what death brought to my door.

By T.L. Alton