A larger-than-life Release

Remember- that imagination is the faculty of the spirit-when it suggests new pathways to us; we are being invited to explore the territory of the soul, in ways that will certainly change and re-enchant us 
~ Caitlin Matthews 

I held in my hand, a clear piece of quartz - the crystal symbolizes energy, and it facilitates people to focus more. Utilized as a meditative device, quartz is believed to uplifts one’s spirit through concentrating on prayers or thoughts. It is used to assist those needing a fine balance between emotional needs and voids.
For those following my blog, the intricate meaning of quartz in my life was inspired by my daughter’s rose quartz heart, which was with her when she passed away. 

This January, a pebble release took place…but not before it embarked on a journey, as it travelled along the magical island of Maui. From lush bamboo forests, the coiled highway Road to Hana, along the stretch of golden sand beaches and cascading waterfalls… a heart shaped Fluorite pebble, went on many unrestrained adventures.

I have personally always been drawn to the intriguing properties of Fluorite, as it is said to absorb and neutralize negative vibrations. It is known as:  “The Stone of discernment.” 

“When resolutions are being sought, it helps in decreasing your emotional involvement in a situation.  Often in life there are times you can't see the forest for the trees. Fluorite enables you to step back in order to achieve more clarity. The veil of illusion is removed thus allowing order to clear the chaos, making way for new things. Fluorite is symbolic of the integration of a person connecting with the Universal Spirit.  It assembles the purity of character and imparts on our soul that it is time to release and let go.”

It is because of these qualities, that this momentous pebble release has a revered importance for me. In relation to the changes in life I have undergone, I envision myself immersed in a tub filled to the brim, with a thousand of these mystifying gemstones. 

Friends of mine, TJ and Dean Wallis, spent two months away from their home in the Northern region of the Okanagan, exploring the unparalleled beauty of Maui. This trip of a lifetime was connected to discovering what the entire island had to offer.

In between following TJ’s blog, connecting in emails, and along with phone conversations, I was well informed of the pebble that she carried with her. 

I was delighted to hear of the many fascinating places that both her and her husband visited, in making several attempts to release the gemstone. Boundaries were pushed in their daring quests and at times I must admit, I was concerned for their safety. The last thing I wanted to hear was how Dean had rode a palm leaf down a 60 ft waterfall, trying to release the pebble! Yet, I could tell they were both dedicated to the task at hand and were having fun while doing so. 

If anything I have come to understand about The Heart Pebble Movement, it always seems to take those involved, on an unforeseen spiritual journey. I have often wondered if it is the metaphysical attributes of the stone or the symbolism of each one, which bares its final release into the world.  Maybe, the philosopher Plotinus’s reasoning-the human mind is only a reflection of a universal reality- embodies the pebble’s ultimate destination. 

From over 275 freed pebbles, crystals and gemstones all across the earth, no two have been alike. A variety of professions, religious beliefs, cultural and people of all ages have taken part in The Heart Pebble Movement. As I have journeyed through different places, friendships and relationships, releasing those along the way…the pebbles transition has mirrored the changes I have had to accept. 

The powerful significance of TJ and Dean’s release in Maui occurred within a sacred place to me. It is on the island of Maui, where I witnessed the butterfly in the cloud formations on what would have been Shayla’s 22^nd birthday…next week my beloved daughter would have been turning 24 years old. Every year, I still do celebrate the extraordinary day she came into this world, my precious babygirl that brought such light and love into many people’s lives. 

Upon viewing the video where TJ is sharing the Fluorite pebble and Dean is videotaping it, a swell of emotions spilled into tears, as TJ gently held my hand across their kitchen table. This is a woman who has nurtured me when I have been hurt, heard my anguish when I was betrayed, and taken all of my broken bits- looked me straight in the eyes and said: “Do Not let anyone ever have any power over You!” She values me a friend, extends compassion to me when I have needed it and gifted me in ways that only those who appreciate her, can understand. 

WATCH THE VIDEO ON YOU TUBE OF THIS AMAZING PEBBLE RELEASE>>>
 http://youtu.be/9WpIZEHhl98 

My daughter Shayla and I have been featured in Okanagan Woman Magazine; I have provided house and pet care for TJ and Dean, in addition to having worked in their business. One solid value about them is their dedication to their friends, family, work and community that continues to inspire me.

I see this special pebble release as a means to new beginnings. A sign of things to come which frees me and has me take back my life on the ledge of uncertainty. 

Possibly-unknown to my friends who took part in many adventurers in Maui- is that a heart shaped piece of Fluorite was helping each one of us, to let go of things far beyond our control.

By T L Alton 
*Photographs and Video submitted by TJ and Dean Wallis 

Rooted in a Beautiful Beginning

It was last autumn that I travelled once again to the Okanagan, to deal with the changes and safety measures on McKinley Landing Road. While there, I did not want the trip entirely focused on my daughter’s passing. I know how much Shayla valued her friendships and so I made prior arrangements to connect with people, I had not seen since the celebration of life, in December.

Every time I visit the area, I stay with my former husband Dave, at his home in McKinley. To put into words what it is like to have to travel back and forth past the reservoir our daughter passed away in, is to take the stitching of my wounded heart and unravel it again…repeatedly. Yet, Dave drives past it on a daily basis- back and forth to work, into the city and for household supplies. This is where we differ in how we cope in the loss of Shayla. I shuddered each time coming around that deadly stretch, yet I could stand at the actual crash site- by myself and stare out on the murky waters- endlessly. Dave’s choice not too stop anywhere along the road is personal for him. For me, I believe it is because a mother’s connection to her child in the womb, keeps a part of her child(ren) safely tucked away within…we search for the unknown, seeking a response. Where some would never want their feet to touch the embankment; I have kneeled in the dirt, grabbed a fistful of it in my trembling hands, closed my eyes and envisioned what may have happened that terrible day. In one word, I can explain what I am seeking: ANSWERS. Just over a year later, that has not changed, but my desire to replace the chaos of my emotions is now geared towards creating peace. Therefore, the continual release of pebbles helps to balance my yin and yang, in my world altered by one day… it allows the hurt to escape into elements of nature that bond mother and daughter together.

One of the days I was in Kelowna, I made plans to travel with Dave to Kaloya Park in Oyama, BC.

 I was meeting Adrianna, another one of Shayla’s friends who kept in contact, with me. They had known each other since High School-around Grade 7 or 8- and developed a connection with one another that I was told by my daughter, brought a lot of happiness. In October 2011, Shayla had travelled from Kamloops to Kelowna, to attend Adrianna’s birthday. At the time, Paul and I were in Hawaii and I recall how upset and worried I felt about how far away my babygirl was from me. Even though she was a young adult of 21 years, Shayla always ‘checked-in’ with me after a night out, to give me a peace of mind. Otherwise, I would stare at the numbers on my clock- no matter where- and fret until I heard from her.  When I received an email from my daughter, I began to laugh as her following words brought a smile, then warmth to a mother’s heart…

“… what a fun long weekend and major hangover. Would have definitely been better if i could have woke up to some nice hawaiian breeze and the sun on my back all day LOL. Well again i can not say it enough… I miss your voice and random conversations on the phone, cant wait to hear and see even more pictures and stories. I Love you so much. xoxxo to the moon and back :)”~ Love Shayla

After Shayla passed away, I was still on Facebook and spent hours reading her Wall, posts, and quotes she shared. I found a poem by Adrianna that brought on the tears. The raw hurt over Shayla’s departure, loss and anguish spilled out and I could sense the emotions being conveyed. I printed a copy of it out and many times, I have re-read it. I plan on keeping it as part of the scrapbooks I have started in Shayla’s memory. When I needed donated artwork for ShaeHarmony, Adrianna created a brilliant display of emotion with her ability to passionately share what she felt inside and gifted it to the cause.

Last September, we finally had the opportunity to meet- along with Dave- our daughter’s friend to release pebbles. The location held a special link; especially for us as her parents. When Shayla was little, she was the flower girl at our wedding that took place in Kaloya Park. Her white dress trimmed in delicate lace around the waist, upswept hair, complete with parasol is a poignant snapshot. It is also a photo that brings me heartache knowing that is the closest image I will ever have of my daughter wearing white. 

With regards to Dave, he and I have remained close; his support for me appears in many ways that few can understand. There were always three people I relied on…Dave, Shayla and of course, my own partner, Paul. When the darkness of my chronic illness, threatened my existence, I always at some point had them by my side. My daughter was at the core of the love and nurturing. She gave me 21 years of her life that continue to unfold in a multitude of extraordinary ways! 

 

While at Kaloya Park, I spoke with Adrianna, before our pebbles found a home. I know Shayla cherished their friendship and admired her friend in many ways. My sweet angel did not just know a person, she absorbed who they were and cradled their secrets within her own joy. Soon, it came time to place the Agate and Fluorite –two stones with distinctive meaning. Agate is believed to discern truth, accept circumstances, and is a powerful emotional healer.  The name Fluorite comes from the Latin word for flux, which refers to a substance that promotes flowing and combining of other materials. 

While a large quantity of pebbles have been immersed in a direct source of water, others have uniquely been set into things. Her father found the willow tree our daughter had spent many hot summers, swinging off the overhanging branches and dropping into the water. Their choice was a nice surprise…they each placed in different areas of the weeping willow Shayla loved, their pebbles in her memory. Dave put his inside a natural hole opening in the trunk. We listened with much delight as it bounced off the inside of the willow and into the water that nourished the tree. Next, Adrianna set hers into another hole, but the size did not quite match up with the pebble and it became forever lodged in this space. This seemed appropriate as the once protruding branch Shayla swung from had been cut off for safety reasons…now in its place was a pebble connected with the tree. 

Willows are fond of water, with their symbolism rooted in creativity and insight.  As a healing tree, its name literally means “convolution,” as a complexity of energies are linked with it. These types of trees kindle restoration of the whole being and are the essence of renewal.  

As someone who believes in nature; I look farther beyond the portrait of life. I am open to exploration of how things are connected to both my daughter and I. Sometimes, the signs are clear and no further research is needed. Other times the messages I get are much like a closed water lily… which needs nourishment and radiance to reveal its layers of beauty, contained within. I accept as true the subtle hints, the twists of fate that have worked loose any uncertainty. No one has to prove to me the existence of Heaven, for I know where my babygirl went on December 12, 2011 and the messages of importance left behind in her place. In my study of the willow tree, I discovered the key to being wide open to its potential is to always trust your own inner intuition. The pebbles we left behind are little treasures; a reminder of the ties that bind and the ones that connect us to our loved ones…even in death. 

 

By T L. Alton