Remembering Shayla- 2 Years Passed on December 12, 2013

Memorial Tribute for Shayla Driver -December 12^th, 2013

On December 12, 2011 you left a hole in the ice of McKinley Reservoir,

not even comparable to the opening of our broken hearts:

I still reach out to you my dearly loved babygirl and I awaken to tears on my pillow

The sound of your laughter is encased inside my shattered world…

On a shelf is a card with your tiny hand-print at the age of five that reads: I Love You at the Rainbow!

A reminder to cherish the years we had…

Your smile permanently surrounds me in the photographs on display

I see you in a multitude of things- a butterfly in the sky,

a pebble embedded along the ocean shoreline

The invisible Angel wings you wore while here on this earth

Carry you along in Heaven as we mourn our greatest loss

You stood for those who were the outcasts of society;

making a pledge to help those in need

Your golden heart is seen amongst the ripples…

where pebbles are released in your name

A granite marker-Stone of Protection- embedded with your image is a poignant reminder of the fragility of life…

Fulfilling your dream to save others from harm rings true on McKinley Road

With every snowflake that falls, we grieve through tears…

For the time we would have spent with you that has been taken from us

As two years have come to pass…

May your tragic death at 21 years of age remind others that as we mourn you- our daughter, sister, aunty and friend… You are still loved so much and will never be forgotten! 

Missing You Forever & Always, With Love from Mom, Dad, Kimberly, Gary, Family and Friends

Working Through My Grief- Dedication to Stenberg College

We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.

-- Henry Ward Beecher

I have found the joy in discovering the depths of the bond that remains between my daughter who has passed away and me, her mother. Though death took her away, it is her sphere of light that continues to resonate still in this world. 

Last week, I met with the President of Stenberg College, Mr. Jeremy Sabell and Mr. Les Merson, Director of Marketing & Public Relations. Both gentlemen had extended the kind offer to meet with them. I had been sent via email, photographs from Mr. Merson that were displays of compassion in Stenberg College taking part in The Heart Pebble Movement. This beautiful tribute to Shayla was something for me to treasure as she was honoured in a remarkable way. Two large river rocks had the words of the symposium I attended earlier this May-“Be the Change.” Similar wording is also on her granite marker at McKinley Reservoir. On the back of the river rocks is Shayla’s name and each of the stones has a butterfly. For those who have followed my posts, they will understand the significance, as my daughter ‘symbol’ in life was that of a butterfly. Just over eleven weeks after her passing, I sat on a beach in Maui to mark what would have been her 22nd birthday and looked up to the sky to see the spectacular image of a butterfly. 

Upon walking into the main entrance of Stenberg College, I was welcomed in by one of the large ‘pebbles’ which sits on display at the main desk. Shortly after, I was greeted by Mr. Sabell and Mr. Merson, who walked me into an office. Although I was aware of the time we would have, I also knew it would be impossible to convey what I felt was necessary in me sharing Shayla’s story. 

 

I was further taken aback by Mr. Merson’s generous off to gift me the other large pebble that sat on his office desk. This was seen as a relishing moment to seize the opportunity to be able to place it in a spot where I feel at peace in letting it go. 

In opening myself up to reliving the grief stricken moments that are part of my healing journey, I reached out to these men-father’s themselves- and exposed the pain I have been enduring. As difficult as it was for them to hear such terrible circumstances, it was not easy for me to give so much depth to my anguish. One moment I was speaking of the pebbles and the next of my shattered life, fractured by the death of my only child.

What transpired in the privacy of the room is where it will remain. Although I am open and honest in my postings, there are moments which summon our grief that need to be respected. The thing that matters the most is how I was able to work through my immeasurable loss by telling them who Shayla was in the world. In doing so, I don’t even know if they realized how deeply grateful I am for their time and caring. 

It took a great amount of strength to meet two individuals I had never met before and let my vulnerability show through. There is a quote which sums up exactly how I felt in speaking with both Mr. Sabell and Mr. Merson.

“It takes more than will power to stop thinking of someone you have loved and lost.” –Josephine Humphries

For me, I find grace in being able to speak of my daughter Shayla- the girl with the golden heart- and carry within me her light. 

Sharing Be The Change Pebble with Sarah

I would like to extend my thankfulness to the entire faculty of Stenberg College, who took part in making the decision to honour my daughter in such a profound way. 

I look forward to a future full of hope and possibilities, knowing my struggles are lifted by the memories I will always cherish of Shayla.

By T.L. Alton

Star Princess

Video Link: Love Inc. You’re a Superstar   http://youtu.be/IZIDUwO-TfA

 "Ascension"
Copyright ©1987, Colleen Corah Hitchcock

On May 3^rd, of this year, I attended at the Langley Events Centre, Be the Change Symposium.

STENBERG COLLEGE presented a day which was centered on inspiring speakers from around the world. They also merged together with organizations that had tables at the Opportunities Fair.

I attended the whole day and was motivated by Canadian activist Craig Kielburger, who is an advocate for the rights of children. Along with his brother Marc Kielburger, they co-founded Free the Children charity and Me to We social project.

I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to hear a group of young men speak about their adventures and book, aptly titled: What Do You Want To Do Before You Die? Later, I purchased their insightful book based on their journeys in life. The four, young men are renowned as “The Buried Life” and include: Duncan Penn, Jonnie Penn, Ben Nemtin and Dave Lingwood.

While autographing my copy of their book, I shared with each of them The Heart Pebble Movement. I mentioned if any of them could place a pebble for Shayla somewhere, it would mean a great deal to me…I am still eagerly awaiting a reply that possibly this was done :) 

On that day, I gained a deeper appreciative for those involved in ventures that are making such a dramatic ripple in this world. I spoke to people about my cause and heard the passion of others who were carving their own legacy into a society bereft with challenges.

In my connections with those in attendance, I shared about Shayla and her adoration as a ‘rock hound.’ I met many mothers and daughters, whose tears began to form, when I explained what the movement symbolizes. 

One of those ladies was Cathie Watters.  I received in my email, the following kind-hearted message:

Hello Tonya,
Just wanted to let you know that we sent off the rock for Shayla on Friday May 10th. We were on a cruise to Seattle on the Star Princess and threw it off the balcony into the Pacific Ocean. We wanted to honor Shayla on our trip. I will send the pictures in the next three separate emails. I hope you like them. Bless you my dear.
Love Cathie

 Given the timing of it being my 2^nd Mother’s Day spent without my babygirl, the array of lovely images-along with her shared words- truly meant a lot to me!

The beautiful notion that this release occurred on an excursion to Seattle- a place Shayla and I had many fond memories of- brought such comfort to my delicate heart. We had spent numerous times at Pike Place Market, attended a Bon Jovi concert at Key Arena, looked out at the world from the towering heights of the Space Needle and indulged in maple donuts covered in strips of bacon. 

Babygirl and Momma in Seattle for  Bon Jovi- The Circle Tour

The magnificence of the movement is that I never know, when out of the blue, I will receive an email, photograph or video of a pebble release. The idea that people, much like Cathie and her daughter, are inspired to share their journey with me and think of Shayla…means that a part of her now exists in their world. For this, I am deeply filled with gratitude and a sense of honouring my sweet angel, carries on…

By T L. Alton