Gratitude is a Healer

Plato believed that every soul has a companion star it returns to after the death of a loved one, if you lived a moral life. ~ Age of Adeline

1460.97 Days without you. A thousand tears fallen from my eyes. Hundreds of prayers said. Endless screams at the water… You died and I was left behind. 
Yet, we have come a long way- A bond that has never been broken. A ricochet of love that was forged in my womb. You died… but I have Survived. 

Your legacy carries on. I see you on the sands of Las Caletas . Your spirit lives upon the mysterious ruins of Machu Picchu. In a pond outside of Hertfordshire, you play. In the firmament on the Island of Maui, you are a butterfly. In the cultural diversity of the Yukon, dancing amongst the flares of Northern Lights- is the essence of who you are. There are no boundaries for you. Though your soul went up to the Heavenly Father on December 12, 2011, the pebbles are pieces of who you were- on this earth. I see you in a sea cave in Portugal or amongst the waters of Cape Town. Your memory lives on in the bench that bares your name, where I can sit… close my eyes and see you dancing freely. I saw you this summer, in the eyes of a deer standing in front of me, under the slivers of the moon. Later, I envisioned you in the Perseid meteor showers radiance, as I gazed heavenwards.

 

On December 12^th, 2011, I had a Police Officer tell me you died. Yet four years later, I have never felt you more alive- in the cause created to honour who you were and what you stood for. When I have felt my heart wearing thin, you whisper in God’s ear, “Please tell my momma that I returned home as your Daughter and one day we will be reunited in Peace.”

I Can only Imagine. 

When words are not enough, my testimony of Faith has seen me take solace- knowing that our lives carry on in ways- only possible thru Our Creator. 

Over the years, the signs I have received have been “Miracle Moments”… where God has planted them in my life, to help ease the deep ache of my loved one’s passing. It is His way of reminding me of what my babygirl and I shared together. 

This summer saw a shift in the realms of me dealing with death. Through the GriefShare course I have facilitated for 12 weeks, I have come to see the funeral of death itself, take place. I have risen from my lamenting and stopped entertaining what I have lost. “If you lose something, you don’t know where it is-I know where my beloved Shayla is- in paradise, waiting to someday be reunited with me. 

The veil of my bereavement between Heaven and earth has been removed by the Lord. Since this has occurred, I have been granted assurance that although my heart won’t ever be the same, it is no longer shattered into a million pieces. I now recall the 21 years you lived- not solely the day you met your maker. 

1460.97 Days without you. I no longer fear this day. I endure the heartache. I break free of the images forever caught in time. You are not the lifeless body on a stretcher. You are in every corner of this world. This experience does not define me. What does, are the stories written from the hands that once held you. 

By TL Alton